This is kind of a difficult post to write because it stirs up a lot of different emotions from when things were tough. I am definitely in a better place now because I’ve learned to accept the things that have happened and made my peace with it. If it never happened, I probably would not be the person I am today.
So I’ve been in two different situations with two different people, at different points in my life. Both these cases aren’t connected. Cheating is a tough subject, I didn’t think it is right and a for a long time I figured it was black and white. But I believe there is a gray area when it comes to cheating. The first time I got cheated on was when I was young, and I thought I was in love. I didn’t want to believe it because I never thought he was capable of it. I hated the girl more than my ex at the time because I blamed her. I thought, “how could she do this to another girl?” or “what if it happened to her.” I just couldn’t believe another girl would be with someone that was with someone else. It just never made any sense to me, and I couldn’t even wait to hear him out at the time and ended things as quickly as possible. From then on, I had so much hate for people that cheated. It drove me crazy that people could do that to someone they cared about, someone they loved. What was the point in being with someone then?
But as time went on I was put in another situation for a short period where I was the girl the guy cheated with. I mean at the time I made excuses because I didn’t think it was wrong. He said he never loved her and they weren’t together. I guess a part of me wanted what he said to be true, so I didn’t feel guilty. Somehow him telling me that they weren’t in love made things okay for me. Now that I look back at it I don’t know how I feel about cheating. I mean, it was wrong, and I was responsible for the choices I made, but like my ex, this guy chose to go outside his relationship. I think girls tend to get mad more at the people their significant other cheated with rather than their significant other. Maybe it is because a part of them wants to believe their BF/GF wouldn’t do that to them. Maybe they think that they were manipulated into cheating by the other person, sometimes, they end up blaming themselves.Right now, I don’t think cheating is black/white anymore. I believe there is a gray area we are missing and things aren’t always so clear. There’s a lot of different reasons why people go outside their relationships, and I don’t think it is right. But sometimes things are meant to happen the way they are, even though I got cheated on, I got back up, I moved on, I got over it. I didn’t blame myself anymore; he made the choice he did, and it didn’t have anything to do with me. In one way or another, we are all a little broken because of the things that have happened to us. It doesn’t mean we will stay that way forever; we always have the ability to decide how much something can affect us.