I learned a lot about what love is supposed to be growing up from tv, family and around me. So here’s a story about the time I found love and how it was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
The first time I truly fell for someone was in when I was about 15 or 16 with a guy I would’ve never pictured myself with under any circumstance. But hey, I guess that’s what they mean by ‘you can’t pick who you fall in love with’ eh? Anyway, we started out as friends, and it naturally grew into something more with time. At that age just knowing someone that understood me was enough for me to feel head over heels. He also really listened to me and made me feel beautiful no matter how I looked.
But as time went by I slowly found out what it felt like to be betrayed by someone you were in love with. I mean at the time it felt like it was the end of the world. But I moved on eventually focusing more on school, friends and spending time with my family. I finally formed a group with some amazing people that got me through quite a bit. I mean the guy I ended up falling for was one of the most popular guys in the city. Naturally, people knew about us, and I ended up being one of the girl’s he dated.
Over time, and starting at a new school; my first love was behind me, and I was ready for new beginnings. However, growing up in a small town means you are bound to run into each other at one point or another. Since we had a lot of mutual friends and minimum amount of places to hang out, this happened quite a bit. Seeing him every time made my heart sink, I felt happy and sad at the same time. But I could never get over the betrayal and my I had some great people looking after me, explaining the reasons he wasn’t right for me.
As you can imagine, our friends can tell us no a thousand times.. but we are going to end up doing what we want anyways. After a couple of years, I finally agreed to go on a date with him again. I told myself I had become more mature and this was going to be some closure. But it wasn’t, we ended up back together a few dates later and starting spending all our time together. But it wasn’t always healthy; we had a lot of fights, arguments, and unrealistic ideas regarding our future together. Breaking up this time was tough because we were older and we both knew there was no future. For some reason, we kept lying to ourselves. We constantly kept fighting for each other despite knowing it was not woking out. He then made the decision to go outside of what was left of our relationship to find something else. I didn’t end up finding out till after we broke up but it hurt quite a bit when I did. I mean I didn’t want to believe it because we always did this.
But believe it or not, I don’t think I regret him even though we ended on horrible terms. I mean because of him I started to feel confident again, I started challenging myself, I started making decisions about my future and helped me figure out what I want in my life. I mean the bad part sucked, but there were also good times where I was able to learn more about myself and grow up. He’ll never know this, but in a lot of ways, he made me a better person. So if you are ever in a situation where you think you might’ve wasted time or you did something you regret, don’t. You are meant to go through individual experiences to learn more about yourself. Although it may be bad, in the big picture, you will be able to see how much you have evolved due to your experiences!